Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Hang in There, New-ish Teacher




When I was a brand new teacher, I believed that, no matter how restrictive the curriculum, there was always a creative way to instill important life lessons, foster creativity, and give students some measure of voice and choice.

I still believe that, but somewhere along the way, I forgot, and I don't like where I ended up. With young teachers leaving in droves, people often blame pay, administration, parents, etc, but what no one ever mentions is that your third and fourth years are hard. For me, I'd argue that they are even harder than my first year was. You face all the same pressures and responsibilities of your first year with the added problem of wanting to earn some measure of respect from your colleagues. You don't want to ask for help because you don't want people to think that you need it. 

When I was first hired, I asked my principal if I would have a mentor. She said no, but she also said, "Don't worry. They'll come knocking." She was 100% correct. I didn't have a mentor, but I did have required monthly new teacher meetings with other new teachers in my district. Much to my school's credit, I also felt like I had a barrage of support from my fellow grade level and subject area teachers. I was never without someone to lean on, and by the end of my first year, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude toward many of my colleagues. 

But somewhere in the middle of my second year, I started to feel like all that support was evaporating. It wasn't that my coworkers became any less supportive, but I do think they became less concerned. They didn't "come knocking" as much. I had survived year one; surely year two would be no problem! And, to be totally honest, I think I started to feel like I needed to prove myself. Year One's mission was to survive. By Year Two, I felt like I should have it all together. No more rookie mistakes for me! 

Of course, that's not what happened. The pressure started to get to me. Between test scores, classroom management issues I was unprepared for, and my own perfectionist nature, I started to compromise on what I knew were best practices. The wisdom of my college professors gave way to the practical challenges of real students in a real classroom and navigating collaborative relationships with coworkers.

So today, I am reflecting on where I've compromised and where I can reclaim some of the high ideals that I've let go: social emotional learning, project-based learning, a classroom that doesn't "look" perfectly in control and allows for a little more student freedom. I made a lot of mistakes my first year, but I always felt proud of myself and what I was trying to do. I want to feel that way again. 

Other newish teachers, I salute you! No one told us these years would be the hardest.
Not newish teachers, check on your third and fourth year friends. As a whole, they are not okay.

8 comments:

  1. You are a reflective teacher. You learn and change. Something I wished I had learned as a young teacher was to show self-comapssion and self-care, it would have helped with the stress and demands, often from my own high expectations. Wishing you resilience and joy!

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  2. This is so raw and so real. I can relate to this on so many levels but it is also eye opening! As a military spouse I have not been about to make it to year three and four as we move so often. I'm always starting over. And on top of that I am a Deaf Educator turned Regular Ed K teacher! So my first year in K I felt like I needed to prove myself because I was in a team of other new teachers (more new than I was technically) but also felt like I was drowning because it was my first year in regular ed K. This has given me a lot to think about! Thank you for sharing! I thought that the teachers who had been there a few years always looked like they had it so together and had all of the answers and I was jealous. Feeling like that would never happen for me. So it's nice to here us young-ins aren't alone in those feelings!

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    1. I'm glad it resonated with you! I hear you about starting over. This is my fourth year, but only my second in my current position. Here's hoping next year is the year I finally start to feel settled in!

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  3. Very reflective, Grace. I used to co-lead the Mentor Program (required in the state of Massachusetts for first-year teachers, BTW) in my district, so I know all too well how many new teachers there are that need support. Some ask for it and others don't, but silently are hoping for it. It can make one feel quite vulnerable to appear like you need help or advice. And as you said the need doesn't go away after the first year, but the attention and support often does. Your post is a good reminder for those of us who are veteran teachers to check in on our colleagues. Thank you for that reminder! -- Christie @ https://wonderingandwondering.wordpress.com

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  4. Very reflective and well stated- even after 20+ years we are all still learning. Every year is different for sure. It is always a good thing to think about why we got into this profession in the first place. Thanks for the reminder.

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  5. You remind me a lot of my daughter who is in her 4th year of teaching. While I know she is glad to get those first years under her belt, I know she still struggles from time to time. I think you have described a beginning teacher's life very well, especially when you said teachers don't come knocking as much. My teaching partner just finished her first year (she started mid-year last year). Thank you for reminding me to keep knocking on her door!

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  6. I’m glad you’ve taken the time to reflect and reclaim. This is a very thoughtful piece. I’m a support person and this is a reminder to check in with some new-ish teachers.

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  7. I appreciate the dilemma you put into words in this slice. The ways you're taking stock of your current professional ups and downs to make needed course corrections a few years in is an inspiration.

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